Break, Mend, Love
by ebonystars18
Summary: Love is never any easy thing, Lily and James took a long time to fall in love, it was not simple and it was not perfect, but it was true...this is the journey of how she left her childhood friend and grew closer to that arrogant bully who became the man she fell in love with...


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter**

**Ok – just wanted to start by saying this is the FIRST ever fanfic I have written – so please be kind – but if you do see any spelling/grammar mistakes please let me know – I'll never improve otherwise.**

**This fanfiction will be a Marauder/Jily story, I will create some of my own characters (which I hope you will like) but the main characters will remain the same & there will be a sequel (not that I have thinking about this for a while or anything :P ) ….Ok without further ado I'll carry on…**

**Chapter One**

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

The great clock noted the seconds as they slipped away like sand through fingers; the sound echoed around the tall stone walls of the silent hall whilst around forty students sat at separate desks, heads bent and their quills scratching away on the parchment before them.

Lily tried desperately to block out the sound of the clocks infuriating ticking and tried once again to grip her quill more firmly in her sweaty hand. She had always been reduced to a nervous mess when an exam was thrown into the equation; it was not that she wasn't prepared, not if her studying under the bed sheets until Danni Harker, her roommate, had thrown a pillow at her along with a few choice words.

"Five more minutes!" The high – pitched squeak of Professor Flitwick broke through her train of thought. Lily put down her quill and re – read her answer, once she was sure she was satisfied with her answer, she rolled up her parchment and rubbed her aching neck. Just as she was turning her head slightly to loosen her neck muscles, she caught sight of a tall, black – haired boy grinning across the room to another dark haired boy who was rocking back on his chair lazily. She could not help but roll her eyes, those boys never seemed to be able to take anything in life seriously.

Once all the rolls of parchment had been collected and Professor Flitwick had been unceremoniously knocked to the floor, they were dismissed. Lily collected up her spare parchment and her exam paper and stuffed them into her bag as she waited for her friends to join her.

"How was that for you?" Lily looked up to meet the round and curly haired face of Alice Fortescue. Lily shrugged a little

"It was alright." She answered.

"You are the only person I know to come out of an OWL exam and say 'it was alright'." The voice behind Lily said, dripping with sarcasm. "Seriously we should get your head checked out." Lily could not help but grin as she turned to face Danni; the raven – haired beauty had always been the blunt one of the group, but Lily had always loved that about her.

"Thanks Danni, as always you know how to make people feel good about themselves." Lily replied with mock hurt.

"Always here to help, come on, let's go outside –it's bloody baking in here!" And rolling their eyes at their friend's eloquent language, Alice and Lily followed Danni out of the Entrance Hall and into the sun – soaked grounds. "Ahh! Can't you just _taste_ the freedom?" Danni exclaimed throwing her arms up towards the Heavens as if she had been saved from some life – threatening catastrophe. She didn't seem to notice the eyes of several boys following her across the lake, Lily and Alice shared a knowing look as they caught a small group of sixth year boys staring at Danni with mooning eyes; it was common knowledge amongst most of the school that Danielle Harker was one of the most desired girls in the vicinity, but either she herself was oblivious to this fact or refused to let it interfere with her everyday activities.

Once they had reached the lake edge, they sunk down on the grassy verge, leaning back on their elbows leisurely soaking up the first day of proper summer sunshine; however one of the girls was particularly preoccupied with scanning the field around her.

"Looking for someone Alice?" Danni asked with an amused smirk as she realised just what her fellow Gryffindor was doing. Alice's head snapped back towards the lake with such speed that Lily was afraid that it was going to fly off her neck, and a distinct blush crept up her neck.

"N-no what would give you that idea?" She stammered, her face slowly working its way towards beetroot colour. Lily stifled a laugh as she pulled her Charms book from her bag.

"Nothing, just the fact that you were scanning the field like a hawk and I have a strong feeling it was for someone beginning with 'F'." Lily teased.

"If you like Longbottom so much why don't you just ask him out, I really don't see him objecting." Danni said, turning her face up towards the sun and closing her eyes. Alice gave a light scoff.

"I couldn't do that – I'm not like you, I don't have the guts of the certainty that he would say yes."

"Give me a break! The guys been swooning over you since he was in fifth year and don't try to deny it, he likes you _a lot, _I don't know how many times I have to say it…and Lily Evans if you don't put that bloody book away I swear to Merlin I will dump you in the lake with the Giant Squid!" The last part of Danni's rant came out in a slightly louder tone as her narrowed honey eyes seared into the book in Lily's hands. The redhead stared back, unmoved.

"OWLs are not over yet! We still have Charms Theory and Practical DADA." Lily retorted, trying desperately to keep her face stony which was extremely difficult.

"Can you just let Prefect, bookworm – Lily have a rest for a little while and break out good ol' fun time – Lily?" Danni pouted, "Just relax, enjoy the sun, the chatter, the –" However her next words were drowned out by a raised voice, a voice that made Lily's blood boil and her ears ring like an overheated kettle.

"How'd the exam go Snivelly?" Lily looked over her shoulder and felt her jaw clench as she saw the tall lanky form of James Potter, flanked by Sirius Black, both standing over the panting form of Severus Snape.

"Not again…" She hissed angrily, getting to her feet she began to storm towards where a crowd was forming around the three boys.

"Lily leave it!" Danni shouted after her, but she didn't seem to notice as she advanced towards the scene. She heard Sirius say something which caused laughter to rippled through the thickening crowd; she heard Severus shout all manner of swear words and curses.

"_Scourgify_." James shouted as Lily got nearer and she saw to her horror that soak bubbles were cascading from Severus' mouth, making him choke and splutter.

"Leave him alone!" Lily shouted, breaking through the crowd and narrowing her eyes at James, who merely shot her a lopsided smirk.

"Alright Evans? You're looking lovely today." James smirked today, Lily tried to ignore the titters of laugher that broke out from behind her.

"Cut the crap Potter, leave him alone. He hasn't done anything to you." Sirius scoffed and James gave her a look of mock thoughtfulness.

"I beg to differ, he is _breathing_ isn't he?" Sirius joined in with the rest of the laughter making Lily's fury grow by tenfold.

"You're not funny – you're just an arrogant, self – righteous prick. Leave him alone."

"Perhaps we could make a deal – go out with me and I'll lay off Snivellus." James said, every syllable soaked in arrogance. Lily shook her head, her eyes like smouldering coals. She could not believe he had the nerve to ask her out, now of all times!

"I would rather chop my own arm off than go on one date with you, Potter!" She retorted, she almost thought she saw James' face fall a little, but in a moment it was replaced by his trademark smirk.

"Hard luck there Prongs." Sirius interjected, suddenly he gave a cry of outrage as a flash of light flew from Severus' direction, hitting James, leaving an ugly gash along the length of his cheek. James' hand flew to his face and a moment later he had hoisted Severus up into the air, making his robes fall over his head revealing his underwear. For a fraction of a second Lily felt her lips twitch but she shook her head and drew out her own wand.

"Let. Him. Down." She ordered in very low, very dangerous whisper, even James and Sirius had the sense to eye the weapon warily. James rolled his eyes, but nonetheless, he removed the curse holding Snape, letting the latter fall to the floor in an undignified heap and turned back to the re haired witch.

"There you go satisfied?" Lily gave him a cold, silent look in response. "You're lucky she showed up to spoil the fun and save your sorry Slytherin arse." James taunted Severus as he got to his feet.

"I don't need the help of a filthy little Mudblood!" Severus spat. The crowd suddenly went silent, as the truth of his words sank in.

"I'm sorry I bothered, I will know better in future." Lily spoke up, trying to keep her wavering voice steady. With that, she turned and hurried away, not turning back when James called her name.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The crowd was silent as they watched Lily's retreating form, no one really knowing what to say.

To everyone's surprise, it was Sirius who advanced on Severus first, his wand raised, his eyes uncharacteristically dark.

"You _fucking git_, I knew were an ass before, but I never knew you were quite that low." His voice becoming more of a growl with each word.

"We'll make you pay for that," James began, he once again flung Severus up into the air. "Who wants to see me take of Snivelly's trouser?" There was a roar of applause but it was quickly shattered by a cry that made every student quake in their shoes.

"MR POTTER!" The crowd suddenly dispersed to reveal a very angry Professor McGonagall marching towards the group. She raised her wand and Severus was gently lowered to the floor. "I cannot _believe _that you would be harassing another student, this is sickening behaviour." Her eyes scanned the group until they fell on another figure, a little further back. "Mr Lupin, I expected better of you, as a Prefect, it is your duty to stand up to such matters. Perhaps fifty points from Gryffindor will help you learn a lesson. Away!" She ordered the crowd of students who hurriedly scattered in all directions, leaving the four boys to look at the ground, all equally wrapped up in their own guilt and embarrassment.

"Well mate, I think you could have chosen a better moment to ask the girl out." Sirius commented, breaking the tense silence.

"Cheers Padfoot, could always rely on you to kick them when their down." James replied humourlessly.

"Let's just go before we get into any more trouble." Peter spoke up and the four of them exited the field in much lower spirits than when they had entered it.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"That bloody creepy little bastard….I swear next time I see him I'm just going to…." Danni motioned strangling someone with her hands.

"Danni! Keep your voice down!" Alice hissed as they walked along the corridors, the black haired witch gave her a strange look.

"Why? Pretty much everyone knows that Snape is a creep, not mention that little pose he hangs around with!"

"That may be true but right now we have more important things to do – like find Lily." They had been looking for the aforementioned friend for just over half an hour but to no avail.

"Let's try in here." Danni indicated towards the shabby door of the disused girls' bathroom. Alice gave her shrug to say 'might as well'.

"Lily? Lil?" They called tentatively, pushing open the door. A single noisy sniff was their response. Danni stepped forward, but Alice caught hold of her arm, stopping her.

"What?" Danni mouthed, slightly annoyed.

"Maybe I should, you're not the greatest with words of comfort." Not waiting for an answer, Alice walked ahead.

"Lil, we're really sorry about what happened, I know there isn't anything that we can say to make it better, but when you're ready to talk…well, we're here." Alice said, feeling that her words were rather inadequate for the situation, but not feeling that she had anything better to offer. There was the sound of a lock clicking and Lily emerged from the fourth cubicle, her normally pale face was blotchy and red and her green eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Alice instantly felt her heart go out to her friend; although she had never shared the same liking for Snape, she knew how much his friendship had meant to Lily and to have it so cruelly shattered must have been unbearable.

"Why- why would he say such a thing?" Lily croaked, although she already knew the answer.

"Because he's a git." Danni offered, Lily could not help but laugh and nodded half – heartedly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I have been so blind to his faults. I know that he hurt people and I just refused to see it, even after what happened to Mary, I guess that makes me just as bad as him," Lily sucked in her breath, "I guess I just wanted to believe he was still that boy who I met in the playground, it's stupid…."

"It isn't stupid, I don't like the guy, in fact he and his little group scare the crap out of me, but you wanted to see the best in him and we respect you for that." Danni said, then she registered the astounded looks she was receiving. "What?"

"That was uncharacteristically sentimental of you. You feeling alright?" Alice asked, placing her palm to Danni's forehead, which she batted away.

"What? A girl can't be supportive occasionally? Come on Lil, let's go back to the Common Room, I think I spied some Honeydukes Hot Chocolate under Katherine's bed." Laughing slightly, the three girls left the bathroom.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The Gryffindor Common Room was very noisy, even for a Friday night as people chatted and played Exploding Snap. But James did not notice any of it, his mind was still swimming with the events of that afternoon; Lily's angry expression, McGonagall's punishment and the sound of Snape uttering that terrible word.

Of course he had pretended not to be affected by Lily's rejection, it had not been the first time, but it was becoming harder and harder not to feel upset by the insults she threw at him and worse still that he deserved every one.

"Alright there Prongs? Not letting Evans' rebuff get you down?" But before he could answer a book was slammed down with what could only be described as anger.

"Well he should be, and if not, he should be bothered by McGonagall's punishment – _fifty points_ – do you know what that means?"

"Remus, what is wrong?" Sirius asked, feeling that now would not be the best time to use his nickname.

"Why did you three have to go and act like total pricks? Lily was right he didn't do anything to you that time and yet you still picked on him." The other three had the grace, at least, to look ashamed, James felt his cheeks burning as he knew Remus was right, as usual.

"I know I should have stopped you, so I am just as much to blame but it should never have happened in the first place!" The other three looked at each other.

"We're sorry Remus." Peter muttered, his face very red.

"It's not me you need to apologise to." He nodded towards the Portrait Hole where Danni and Alice had just entered escorting a very reserved looking Lily. James stood up and walked over to them and they made their across the bustling Common Room.

"Lily-"

"Just don't', let her cool down first." Alice murmured, pushing Lily ahead of her. She gave James a half smile and followed Lily up the stairs to the Girls' Dormitories.

"Weldone, you've really blown it this time." Danni said mercilessly, her eyes regarding James coolly.

"Remus already beat you to the shaming speech." James retorted, Danni's eyes slid over to where Remus was sitting.

"Good, at least someone did. Look Potter, I know you care about Lily, more than you let on, but if you want her to return any feelings, then you need to deflate your head a little bit. You're a better person than you let on." With that, she turned and bounded up the stairs, leaving a very dumbstruck James behind her. He returned to his seat, his eyes still unfocused.

"Prongs mate – what happened?" Peter asked worriedly, looking at the raven haired boy with great anxiety.

"I think Danielle Harker just paid me a _compliment_." He answered, dazed.

"Lucky bastard." Sirius muttered roughly.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Mary quickened her pace, it was almost past curfew and the last thing she needed was to be caught by Filch after hours; he had developed a particularly nasty cold and was in a very foul mood indeed. As she climbed the last flight of stairs and was just about to give the Fat Lady the password, a soft voice halted her.

"Good Evening Mary." Her breath hitching slightly, Mary turned to face the glowering expression of Severus Snape. Mary raised her chin and did not respond, she was not going to rise to Snape's bait, whatever it might be.

"What do you want Snape?" Her usually sweet voice was harsh and unforgiving. She knew all too well what he was capable of, but she was not going to let that intimidate her, not this time.

"He has been trying to gain entrance to Gryffindor Tower, it has been dreadfully tiresome." The Fat Lady answered, regarding Snape with cold eyes.

"I need you to do something for me Mary," She still did not respond. "I need you to get Lily to come and talk to me."

"No way, after what you said to her, she has every right never to speak to you again." She went to move forwards, but Snape grabbed her upper arm in a vice – like grip that made her gasp in pain.

"You will do this for me, unless you want a repeat of last month." Mary felt the colour drain from her face, he had found it, her weakness.

"Fine, but if she doesn't want to talk to you, I can't make her." Mary wrenched her arm from his grasp, gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered. She strode through the Common Room, not stopping to greet anyone and climbed the stairs to the Girls' Dormitories. Her heart sank when she saw Lily sat on her bed accompanied by Danni and Alice; she had somewhat hoped she wouldn't find her to spare the poor girl a potentially painful conversation.

"Hey Lily, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but…snapeisoutsideandhewantstotalktoyou." She gabbled all at once, the redhead's brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry Mary but…what?" Mary took a deep breath.

"Snape is outside and he wants to talk to you. He was very insistent." Alice rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded very much like 'I bet he was'.

"Do you want me to go out there and deck him for you?" Danni asked cheerfully, making to get up, but Lily held up a hand, looking defeated and tired.

"No, I have to face this sooner or later. Don't worry this won't take long." Silently, she got up and walked out of the room. Mary gave a sad sigh and slumped onto her own bed.

"Poor girl. Do you think this is it for them?"

"I hope so, she is too good for him – I just hope she has finally seen it." Alice replied.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Please you have to believe me, I didn't mean to call you…"

"A Mudblood? That's what I am after all, I've heard you call so many people that – why should one more matter?" Lily didn't care anymore, she didn't care about feelings or emotions, now was the time to speak her mind, to lay it all out.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Severus tried again, but she simply scoffed.

"What other way could you have possibly meant it? We have to face facts – we are not the same people anymore, we've chosen different paths."

"No, you have to under-"

"No I don't understand! I don't even want to understand. I don't know who you are anymore, not since you started hanging around with your little Death Eater friends!" Severus remained silent, not denying it. "You can't even deny it, you can't even deny that that's what you all want to be!" She felt her throat beginning to ache again.

"It's hard to exp-"

"It's not hard it's perfectly simple – you're an aspiring Death Eater and I am just a Mudblood." She snapped harshly, Severus stammered, not finding the right words, Lily shook her head and turned sharply, disappearing back into Gryffindor Tower.

As she hurried through the Common Room, the suppressed tears now freely streaming down her face, James had just one thought fixed in his mind: "'Sorry' is not going to cut it this time."

**OK I hope you like this – please read & reviews are always welcome! **

**Thanks – next chapter hopefully sometime in the next week!**

**~ ebonystars18**


End file.
